This week, scattered between Christmas and stepping back into working part time, overwhelming feelings came. In the midst of Christmas decorations and planning, my eyes glanced over towards our calendar to find the dry erase board squares filled with trips, concerts, a new job and family visits all while moments of routine rest vanquished at the pace set by a new schedule.
With each step into the day, I responded scattered-like as my mind rushed ahead of my body working with patients this week then coming home to decorate and connect with family. Collapsing into my bed last night I felt defeated, like I have not overcome this exhaustion and depletion that seems to come.
Face first in my bed last night from week one of this season, I wondered if relief from the busyness would end. Could all the good surrounding actually leave me depleted rather than recharged?
Lifting my head from the soft pillow, I scrolled through my email to find Shelley Miller’s Sabbath Society blog post unread in my inbox.
“Busyness can be avoidance, instead of preparation. We’ve been busy with lots of things-running, decorating rooms, cleaning up messes,and cooking special food, all in preparation for receiving guests, celebrating Christmas, and making moments festive. Everything might be ready, but emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually, we are not. Ironically, busyness in the wrong thing ultimately leaves us completely unprepared for what is most important.”
Saturday night, stress and angst at the coming week rolled inside me inside me, tumbling out in a childish scream of overwhelment. Stuff got done, yes. But, emotionally and psychologically I felt done too.
This season of the healing journey feels like a loop-de-loop with curves that wind moving forward and backward heading to Truth. This week I wanted to know that I would feel prepared, capable of doing all the things set before me without having the same reaction as before.
“You will show me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy, and in your right hand are pleasures for evermore (Psalms 16:11).”
Sometimes we are more focused on where the path’s destination is leading that we don’t realize whom we are taking the journey with. Jesus wants us still, resting with Him, not because we aren’t capable of doing the things before us. Rather, He likes us and wants to be around us in all parts of the journey.
There is fullness of joy in God’s presence and this season is about celebrating that joy evoking presence becoming the very human on the journey with us. We live after Jesus has come and died, defeating death, bringing grace and gifting us with freedom to live in starting now.
We are invited to receive that gift of freedom and joy, embracing and celebrating it this season.
I laughed after feeling annoyed at being distracted by overwhelment, again. It has already been overcome by Jesus and I am no victim, but alive in the freedom of being an overcomer of it!
The season feels overwhelming to me and I ask, can I do it all? But Jesus says, “I am with you. Rest in me and I’ll lead.”
And what does that resting look like? Sweet Shelly Miller says it best, that it’s:
Mediating on the Truth of God’s Word.
Keep quiet prayerful conversation going.
Pause and listen for His voice.
This season, we don’t have to feel scattered, busy or overwhelmed. We are invited to rest and receive.
Please feel free to respond to this post with any thoughts, questions, ponderings or prayers. I love hearing from you and keeping the conversation going!
Grace and peace,
P.S-Thanks again to Shelly Miller for inspiring this post! If you’d like a copy of the email she wrote, message me.
Miller, Shelly. Re: “3 ways to Remain Focused During Advent.” Message to Danielle Beatty. November 2018. E-mail.