A huge part of becoming for me has been stepping into who I am embracing who God designed me to be. The truth ‘I am a child of God’ was first shared with me a few years ago when what felt like an identity crisis began. The meaning and viewpoint on the truth it shifts as the pages of my own story keep turning. Yet, the root still stays the same. I am a child of the Creator. And that very core desire to create and innovate flows through me too.
When I was a kid, I LOVED dancing. I’d dance around our house using the kitchen and living room to create my moves, following the music as it led. Four year old me would jump up on her bed singing into the the microphone of her cassette player that doubled as a radio (90’s life!) down to her friends and Barbies cheering from the floor. She and her friends even danced out Spice Girls and N’Sync routines!
And you know what, we had a blast! There was no space limiting or confining, just freedom to create, express and move.
That faded as, well, distractions came. That whimsy nature covered by friends moving, changing schools, life moving in and trying to understand where the creativity went by saying this is just how life is.
Time to grow up.
‘Be more adult,’ I’d tell myself as I started to look to what the adults around me were doing. Secretly, I hoped they would fill in the blank pages that overwhelmed me. And they did, but it didn’t sound like me. Not their fault, they didn’t know who I was designed to become, but I had just surrendered the canvas to someone else and when I looked at the portrait I didn’t even recognize the girl I saw.
After finishing college, I felt out of sorts not spending time in a classroom anymore and off kilter trading my studentship for employment. I got out into the world and maybe, just maybe, aspired to do something. I didn’t feel like I knew enough and freaked, getting wrapped up in trying to figure out life before actually living it. With adulting and being the provider, creating things with my life felt dauntingly exhausting and unrealistic.
The blank pages in life scare more than the fill in the blanks. We want certainty and guidance.
But the blank page provides space to create and write our very own story. ‘But what do I create?’ we ask ourselves, often turning to those around us to either show or tell us what to do, surrendering our story.
Jesus talks about coming to Him like a little child. With all the wonder and openness that comes from being young, when anything and everything is possible. When we come to Him like that. I feel like it is us handing over our blank page saying, “Hey Jesus, here’s this space I have. What do you want us to create?” And Jesus doesn’t just work as a quick sketch artist or free flowing poet covering the pages with lines and words for us to replicate.
He sits us up in His lap or kneels down beside us taking our hands showing us how He designed us to create. He guides our hands around the lines as we discover the gift to sketch out the beauty before us. He listens as we embrace the free flowing rhythm of telling the story we saw. He hums along to the song playing in our heads and hearts that we just couldn’t find the melody to. He creates with us, taking blankness and making art. His Father created it all. And He is inviting us to join His Father in creating. Because He wants us.
Today, my fingers rest at the ready over my keyboard drafting out a story on the other screen. I think of God the Creator writing with me. Guiding me into my true identity, God’s creative daughter.
It’s been a journey for sure, clearing through the muck that keeps us from creating. Those lies that we’ve been told along the way holding us back from embracing who we are.
Yet, here’s the truth, we are children of God. And Jesus is inviting us to come to God as a child, ready to create and embrace all God has for us.